Sleeping with a partner: you share a bed, but only rest well apart
Sleeping with a partner means closeness — and also snoring in your ear, tug-of-war over the blanket and different alarms. Let's look at what research says about couples' sleep, why short sleep turns into arguments so quickly and how to agree on your nights so you both wake up rested.
Questions and answers
Is it better to sleep together or apart?
There's no universal answer. A small sleep-lab study found that couples get a larger share of REM sleep when they sleep together, but with snoring or different schedules, separate nights sometimes help both partners rest. What matters is that it's a joint decision, not a silent escape.
My partner snores — what should I do?
Start by talking without blame and agreeing on practical steps: earplugs, white noise, different bedtimes, separate blankets. Loud, frequent snoring, pauses in breathing and daytime sleepiness are a reason to see a doctor, as the AASM, the American academy of sleep specialists, advises.
How often do couples sleep apart?
According to a survey by the AASM, the American academy of sleep specialists, about a third of Americans occasionally or consistently sleep in another room because of their partner. Among millennials, the figure is 43%.
Why does poor sleep affect relationships?
According to the AASM, poor sleep means a worse mood, more conflict and a lower ability to accurately read your partner's emotions. Put simply, after a sleepless night it's easier to fight over nothing.